Taking hoggish advantage of a hard-working wife is relationship fraud, and it's happened too many times to excuse it as the one-off tantrum of a wounded male ego. More importantly, though, I don't like the example either one of you is setting for your kids. Right now you're teaching them that a partnership should feel like a vacation to one partner and a trap to the other — and that household chores are a woman's job even when her jobs also include paying the rent, buying the groceries, and not getting fired.
First order of business: Start requiring your kids to help with the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. They need to learn what their father never did: how to contribute to a fully functioning family. Besides, you'll need their help more than ever if you kick Jobless Joe to the curb come on, as an able-bodied adult, the guy's got to be good for something: Lifting heavy things?
Killing spiders? Signing for UPS packages? Only you know if there's something worth salvaging with your spouse — something past the money, beyond the sex, on the other side of the resentment.
In all honesty, divorce probably won't help your finances. But it'll really cut back on your laundry.
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